What you do, not what you say, is what really matters.

There are times as a leader where the “I” word is incredibly powerful and needed. Think about the “I have a dream” speech and immediately you think of a charismatic leader, capturing a world audience and a moment in history that is etched in people’s minds. Often we are told that as leaders we need to be decisive, show courage and be seen to be ‘in control’ - all very true, but it is how we do this that makes the difference between taking a team with you or alienating those around you. The use of ‘I’ can work but it can equally backfire - commanding people to do things because ‘I have decided’ can often result in your team disengaging.

Building consensus and taking people with you, are fundamental skills of a leader and your behaviour in achieving this is what really matters. It’s not just about what you say. We can provide lots of practical toolkits to support the structures you put in place within your organisation, but these need to be complemented by your actions. For me, it’s about being interested in those around you. It’s walking the floor everyday and knowing your team. It’s listening to feedback and not being defensive. It’s about acknowledging the contributions. It’s about having those tricky conversations because you have built a culture where that’s what is expected. It’s about thinking carefully about the language you use.

‘I’ can be used when you have built trust and respect with your team. ‘I’ can’t be used purely to stamp your authority on the team. I have witnessed this - CEO’s working on the assumption that the team will immediately respect them because of the title they hold, not because of how they behave. How often have we watched a fly on the wall documentary of a failing business, where it’s obvious that the leadership is the fundamental issue and the team don’t have a good word to say about them? Do we think that by suddenly leading the team with lots of ‘I have decided’ or ‘I want us to do this’ will achieve buy-in? Of course not. People follow leaders. It’s never only about what leaders say. What you do is what really matters.